The Best in a Year

So last week, I learned I had the best A1C I've had in over a year. Certainly, your first thought is this:




And while my first thought about it probably should have been something like this:




I think I looked more like this:



Wait, wut?

With everything I've had going on, recovering from my broken arm & surgery, going through the stress of returning to work, going to physical therapy and everything else, I'm actually doing better? How did this happen? I didn't feel like I did a whole lot that was terribly different or special.

So yes, I am celebrating this small victory over here, but I know there is still much to improve and a lot to think about. With some good efforts, my numbers can hopefully be a lot better, and not just one marked improvement, but a lengthy period of improvement!

I imagine that this whole thing just serves to remind me that, in the end, ultimately, I HAVE THE POWER, not diabetes.

By the power of Greyskull! (I found this via an image search and I don't know who to attribute to...)

Goodbye, 2013.

Out with the old; in with the new.  Sounds like a good plan to me.

In 2013, I didn't blog as much as I wanted.  I renewed my URL, but never quite got it applied because of the hassle I was going through and a lack of time.  I allowed aspects of my struggling work life to interfere with the life I enjoy, but at the same time, I made a lot of changes for the better.  What happened that was notable?

I was a reader on Live from the Kelly Writers' House on WXPN fm.

I had a couple of poetry features in different places.

I was published in APIARY Magazine, then later ended up joining their staff as Coordinator of Outreach and PR.  I met a lot of really great people by doing this, and my life is better for it.

I celebrated my 31st trip around the sun, and my 23rd year with Type 1.

I moved into the City of Philadelphia proper.  I am still learning the ways to make it my home, but it's coming along nicely.  I like it here.

Despite the anxiety and stress I've been under on the job, I still get up, I still come in, I still do my work.  2014 is the year the daily grind is going to stop grinding me down.  I will find something new.  The "daily grind" will be more like some fresh-ground espresso--exciting, energizing...good-smelling?

I made plans to get myself in gear after a really awful A1C.

I got a new insulin pump!  (Tandem T-Slim)

I decided on a potential name for my Dexcom G4: Jadzia.  If you ever watched Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, you will hopefully find this as amusing as I do.

Here in December, I began experimenting on Victoza.  I took a little break for the holidays, but I plan on being back on it by Thursday.  I am definitely going to share some experiences with you all.

I didn't write enough blog posts.

I got to be a guest on DSMA Live!

I dressed an insulin vial up for Halloween.

I wrote some new poems, but I definitely didn't write enough of those either.

I wrote one short-short story, and that felt pretty good.  I think I need to do more of that.

I changed my hair color a couple of times.

I discovered how much I love brightly colored and bold lipsticks.

I let my inner girly-girl win out and got subscriptions to Ipsy, Birchbox, and Julep.  (If anybody else out there would be interested, I think I have referral links you can use that benefit both of us in the end.)

I met Scott J!  And Cherise!  And Sara K!  And Mike Lawson!  And Hannah and Aaron and Jerry the Bear!  And Chris Snider!  And Colleen!  And I saw Allison and Kerri and Manny and others!  What a kickass year for DOC hugging!!  It deserves more exclamation points than I can comfortably continue to fit in this little line break.

Most of all, I am happy I made it through another year in relative good health and high spirits.  May we all learn something from 2013, may we all reflect fondly on the good things.  Happy New Year, Dorkabetic readers!  See you in 2014!

The Pits

Feeling stuck, I think, is even crappier than feeling like you're just having a bad time. 

Maybe it's like the difference between a nasty flu that lasts for a week and having a chronic illness. 

There's a lot that feels like it hasn't gone right for me all year this year, and let's face it, there's not THAT much left of 2012.  My current focus is to just get somewhere.  My home is so close to being back to normal after the bedbugs and the continuing aftermath.  I'm still seeing my therapist, trying to read more books, trying to take time to be mindful of everything.  Despite my best efforts, there are still many times I feel like I'm standing on one leg and a kickstand. 

I finally saw The Dark Knight Rises over the weekend.  (I'll try not to spoil much here.)  In part of the story, Bruce Wayne is taken to a terrible prison at the bottom of a pit.  The prisoners have the option to climb out and escape their prison, but every time someone tries, they fall.  No one ever makes it--they live out their lives in toil and despair at the bottom of this pit.  Of course, Bruce Wayne is the goddamn Batman, and he's determined to escape so his beloved city does not collapse at the hands of evildoers.  He trains through the agony of a broken back and makes multiple attempts to leave the pit.  What drives him to succeed?  Being the goddamn Batman.  Being the hero.  Being the one who can stand up for Gotham City.

There are times when I feel like I'm stuck in some pit of despair.  I could try to climb out, but that seems just as exhausting as being stuck at the bottom.  I think it's just my time to go for it, without the stupid rope.  Commissioner Gordon isn't necessarily looking for me up there, because I'm not a vigilante hero. 

But I'm an awesome person.  I am creative, intelligent, friendly, loving, and totally capable of all kinds of greatness.  There is nothing worse than knowing you are a rockstar but not believing it anymore. 

Do you have any tips for banishing negativity from your mind?  How do you get yourself out of a funk?  Once you start working on improving something about yourself, what's the best way to keep it up?