Goodbye, 2013.

Out with the old; in with the new.  Sounds like a good plan to me.

In 2013, I didn't blog as much as I wanted.  I renewed my URL, but never quite got it applied because of the hassle I was going through and a lack of time.  I allowed aspects of my struggling work life to interfere with the life I enjoy, but at the same time, I made a lot of changes for the better.  What happened that was notable?

I was a reader on Live from the Kelly Writers' House on WXPN fm.

I had a couple of poetry features in different places.

I was published in APIARY Magazine, then later ended up joining their staff as Coordinator of Outreach and PR.  I met a lot of really great people by doing this, and my life is better for it.

I celebrated my 31st trip around the sun, and my 23rd year with Type 1.

I moved into the City of Philadelphia proper.  I am still learning the ways to make it my home, but it's coming along nicely.  I like it here.

Despite the anxiety and stress I've been under on the job, I still get up, I still come in, I still do my work.  2014 is the year the daily grind is going to stop grinding me down.  I will find something new.  The "daily grind" will be more like some fresh-ground espresso--exciting, energizing...good-smelling?

I made plans to get myself in gear after a really awful A1C.

I got a new insulin pump!  (Tandem T-Slim)

I decided on a potential name for my Dexcom G4: Jadzia.  If you ever watched Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, you will hopefully find this as amusing as I do.

Here in December, I began experimenting on Victoza.  I took a little break for the holidays, but I plan on being back on it by Thursday.  I am definitely going to share some experiences with you all.

I didn't write enough blog posts.

I got to be a guest on DSMA Live!

I dressed an insulin vial up for Halloween.

I wrote some new poems, but I definitely didn't write enough of those either.

I wrote one short-short story, and that felt pretty good.  I think I need to do more of that.

I changed my hair color a couple of times.

I discovered how much I love brightly colored and bold lipsticks.

I let my inner girly-girl win out and got subscriptions to Ipsy, Birchbox, and Julep.  (If anybody else out there would be interested, I think I have referral links you can use that benefit both of us in the end.)

I met Scott J!  And Cherise!  And Sara K!  And Mike Lawson!  And Hannah and Aaron and Jerry the Bear!  And Chris Snider!  And Colleen!  And I saw Allison and Kerri and Manny and others!  What a kickass year for DOC hugging!!  It deserves more exclamation points than I can comfortably continue to fit in this little line break.

Most of all, I am happy I made it through another year in relative good health and high spirits.  May we all learn something from 2013, may we all reflect fondly on the good things.  Happy New Year, Dorkabetic readers!  See you in 2014!

Can I put poetry in motion for PWDs?

So a couple of weeks ago I was honored to be featured on Kelly Writers' House Live, airing on Philadelphia's WXPN 88.5fm.  I'd like to thank my friends at Apiary magazine for inviting me to appear, and I'd like to thank Michaela Majoun for her gracious hosting.  Also a big thanks to the University of Pennsylvania for having such an awesome Writers' House and a great bunch of people in it, including Alex (I could have her name wrong) who was running the show.

It'll be archived online soon enough, and I'll let you all know where you can go listen once it's up.

But all this poetry stuff has me thinking--is there a way to combine writing with helping people with diabetes?  Has anybody done writing workshops for PWDs?  Do you think people would be interested?  I am seriously contemplating how to facilitate this one; I think it could be a cool exercise in patient empowerment.

So much brainstorming right now about so many different subjects!  This is merely one thing that's on my mind, but I figured a great thing to bring up among my diabetes community compadres. 

Thoughts?  Suggestions?  Any takers?  Maybe?

Have a great weekend, all.

Oh, You Know, Just Being Awesome.

I've talked about writing poetry.  I've talked about performing poetry.  If you've been waiting to see me actually do a poem, here it is!  Thanks to all my Philadelphia poetry family. 

And thanks to Warren, who is a great friend and a fantastic poet.  His editorial suggestions for poems are usually quite good, and his compliments are among some of the most sincere and well thought-out I've received regarding my writing in the past year. 

And now, on with the show!  Diabetes Online Community friends, welcome to hearing the sound of my voice!  (At least my poetry performance voice.)

Doing What I Do

I know they are not often shared here with you good people, but I write a lot of poems.  People will sometimes ask me what kind of poems I write, and this is always a difficult question to answer.  I write funny poems, love poems, introspective personal poems, but that's not all.  I don't write a lot of poems about political issues.  Believe it or not, I don't [yet] write a lot of poems about diabetes.

As much as I love writing, I also love performing.  It feels like it's something that is wired into me.  Before I get onstage, I may be somewhat nervous, but once I'm out there, it's exhilarating. 

There aren't a lot of videos out there of me competing in poetry slams, and there are even fewer videos of any other public speaking or performance I've done. 

But here's a photo.

Thanks to the lovely Sara Eve who posted this on Facebook. :)

I competed in a poetry slam in Jersey City, NJ over the weekend.  At first, I was a bit hesitant to go.  That's one of the things I hate the most about depression.  Sometimes it whispers in your ear and tells you you're not so great at the things you love to do.  Maybe you should just stay home.

I'm glad I told that voice in my head to take a hike this weekend.  I had a great time at the slam, even if I did go over the alotted time.  I netted myself a penalty, but I put in a great performance.  Team Philly came in 3rd out of 4 competing teams, but it wasn't for lack of trying.  I blame the East German judge.

Getting on the Couch -- Week 2

So my last post was all about how I was heading to see a therapist for the first time.  What I didn't know until a couple of days ago is that it was voted one of the Best of the 'Betes blogs!  Woo hoo!  Yes, dear readers, honesty is the best policy.  A lot of you want to know how it went.  I'm not going to share all the details of all my therapist visits, obviously, but I do want to share a bit so you know what it's like.

I arrived at the office a few minutes early to fill out paperwork, just like going to any other doctor's office.  It was a Friday afternoon, and apparently their office doesn't have a receptionist on Fridays, so various psychologists/therapists/counselors would come in from a hallway door every few minutes.  Sometimes their patients were there waiting, sometimes they had to come back.  I was immediately made more comfortable by how personable everyone seemed when greeting their patients, but I was still nervous.  I am very slow when I'm writing by hand, so the first time my therapist popped his head out the door looking for me, I was not ready.  I was a wee bit embarrassed.

He came out again a few minutes later, and I was finally done scribbling.  He was smiley, had a very warm friendly vibe about him.  It could just be because he had nerdy glasses, and I tend to assume that people who dress like me are mostly trustworthy.  He apologized that the room we'd be going to didn't have any windows.  He said that being the newest to the practice, he didn't get much of a choice.  The room at least had comfy chairs, soothing lighting, and at least two boxes of tissues.

As far as I am able to tell, your first visit to your new therapist will involve filling out lots of paperwork and answering a lot of questions about your background and a little about yourself.  Hopefully, like my visit, it will involve feeling honest and content with the person you are seeing.  It may involve a tissue or two--I managed to not need any until the tail end.  I hope to have an interesting and enlightening experience with my therapist.  He apparently is also an art therapist, so of course I thought of Lee Ann when I was there and all the good that being creative can do for people. 

We'll see what goes on over the next few weeks.  Visit #2 is today at 3:00pm.  It's kind of a strange concept when it comes down to it--figuring out how to trust someone who is to be much more than a stranger to you, less than a friend.  I'm sure this is why your therapist will probably reassure you a number of times, as mine did, that you are in a safe space and everything you say will absolutely not leave the room.  (Unless of course, like in Pennsylvania, the state laws mandate that if you seem a true danger to yourself or others, you will be reported to...someone.  The therapist informed me this would not mean the cops would be waiting at my house for me.  And don't worry about me, I'm the variety of depressive who just mopes and gets cranky and wants to sleep.)

So I think it turns out your therapist is not someone to get nervous about.  You'll do fine.  I did.




PS...EEEEEK I AM IN KIND OF AN IMPORTANT POETRY SLAM TONIGHT AND I AM WIGGING OUT, MAN!  Whew, just had to put that out there. ;)