A Visit from Saint Infection

'Twas the day before Christmas, and I had a hunch
That something was wrong when we returned from lunch.
On my ma-in-law's couch I had sudden pains,
I thought 'bout my ovaries, tried to stay sane.
But it was the wrong time to see my monthly friend,
So I hoped this agony would come to an end.
And to my nose it came, a familiar smell,
My infusion set sprung a leak, aww hell.
Matt and I then drove back to my mom's home,
While the pain in my pelvis caused me to moan.

My mom, baking cakes, asked me, "Is it your bladder?"
"I don't know, but it hurts a lot. Something's the matter!"
I sat at the table, filled pumped and primed,
Then we drove to the ER, making good time.
We waited and waited, and so I supposed,
It's Christmas Eve, all the doctors have closed.
We sat in the waiting room, sipping coffee and things,
And I smiled at a 5-year-old in an arm sling.
My mom then joined us; her cakes were done baking.
Just HOW much longer should this be taking?

Now, outdated magazines! Now, reruns of soaps!
Now, when is it my turn? Soon, I should hope!
The others have gone, so when will it be?
Please hurry it up, 'cause I've got to pee!

When they call my name, I happily go,
After 3 and a half hours, with hubby in tow.
Her scrubs red and green, and her cheeriness ample,
The nurse cocked her head, asked "Can you give a sample?"
I grabbed the small cup and went toward the loo.
I knew that holding it was the right thing to do!
I was put on a bed to wait for the doc
In my hospital gown and my undies, no socks.
Doc poked and he prodded and then told me why
My innards were hurting--a nice UTI!

I got dressed again and was dosed with a pill,
Antibiotics are always a thrill.
Big giant white things, seven days, take 'em twice,
But it's now a week later and I still don't feel nice.
So my Christmas was cool, except I was sick.
I got lots of nice stuff from my fam and Saint Nick.
Perhaps I should've had more water to drink,
But the drugs would have cleared things by now, you'd think!

But there's a happy ending to this UTI sorrow:
My doctor's office is open at 8 tomorrow.


******
Ugh. Let's hope New Year's Eve ends up a little better for everyone involved.