Never Knowing

There's a person I follow on Twitter, and he's one of those people who posts at least two Tweets on the hour, every hour during the day.  He's got some good information and interesting personal stories, he likes to focus a lot on the oft-ignored effects of diabetes on mental health.  All good, right?

I suppose.

However, this guy makes me question myself all the time.  Many things that happen to me that I chalk up to depression, anxiety, or career-related ennui could potentially, according to things he says, be merely diabetes related.  Maybe this is supposed to serve as a relief to some people, but for me I am finding this unnervingly stressful.

If I snap at someone for no reason, can I just blame my bad blood sugars?  If things seem to be bothering me more than they would bother a normal person, can I just blame my diabetes?  Do I even need to see a therapist at all when I feel overwhelmed?  Would a perfect A1C just make me a happier person overall?

If what you say is true, Mr. Twitter Man, have I been doing it wrong all of these years?  

Because that's every diabetic's favorite thing to hear, right?  That we're doing it wrong and if we just stop doing (xyz) everything will be so much better.

I am irritated because I know there has to be some truth in what this guy is saying, and I'm sure he's not intending to make his fellow PWD feel bad about themselves.

There is a reason that the 'Unfollow' button exists, but what am I losing or gaining by clicking it?

The Whys and Hows of Dorkabetic

On Mashable.com a while back, I discovered an infographic that piqued my attention.  It is a reference for job-seekers on whether they should or should not share something via social media.  If you want to see it, it's pretty neat.

I had to pause for a moment, though.  One of the chart questions is "Does it contain details of relationship woes, a doctor's visit or bathroom troubles?"  When you answer yes, it leads you to the opinion of sparing other people these details.  I don't want to tell everybody about whether I have a problem which may require consuming a lot of Jamie Lee Curtis yogurt to reach a solution, but doctor's visits?  I blog about diabetes.  I blog about my depression struggles.  I blog about my doctors, my endocrinologists, CDEs, medical supply companies, health insurance, issues with needles that poke into my skin, stories about blood--my own blood!--gushing from some part of my body after removing one of many aforementioned needles.

So am I chasing away potential employers reading this blog?  I certainly hope not.

In my everyday life, I am the master of saying "I'm fine."  I'm perky; I'm happy.  I try not to show people who are not my closest acquaintances that I am struggling, because I feel like other people shouldn't be worrying about me.  This blog has given me an opportunity to be honest, to share my struggles with the world, and to feel like my writing actually means something to those of you reading out there.

I sometimes post one-word Tweets or cryptic quotations/song lyrics in my Facebook status.  Does all of this make me any less employable?  I enjoy saying all the fucking curse words sometimes.  Does that make me unprofessional?

My personal Facebook page is not public.  I make it a point to not friend my co-workers.  My Dorkabetic Facebook page is all about my blog and diabetes.  My Twitter account is public but I try not to be nasty or overly controversial.

I guess what I'm getting at is this--at the same time, I am my blogger persona, and I am not. 

Am I enthusiastic about healthcare communications?  Do I love helping others with diabetes?  Absolutely!

Am I defined exclusively by being a diabetes blogger?  I hope not.

Does my diabetes make me any less employable?  It shouldn't. 

I don't think one blog, or one Twitter account, or one Facebook page can or should account for the very three-dimensional aspects of someone as a person. 

Sometimes I am afraid that using my blog in my resume or as part of my writing portfolio is a bad idea.  I have wrestled with the fact that I use my real name.  I worry that I could be pigeonholed as a diabetes writer.  

But why do I stick with Dorkabetic?  Why do I love writing here?  Why did I make up all those business cards to hopefully bring people to my site?  It helps me stay sane.  It helps other people by sharing experiences.  It allows me to stretch my writing skills beyond the daily drudgery of emails and memos. 

I love being a diabetes blogger.  Even though I may not update as regularly as some folks, I am always here.  This is my voice in this community.   My continued hope is that by always using my voice and my honesty, my next great opportunity will be something really special.