Monday, November 12, 2007

Poetic License

At the request of the lovely Amylia, I think I'll post a poem today. I've been to 3 different National Poetry Slams, and I've been on 2 teams. What's a poetry slam? What's the National Poetry Slam? I suggest you check here and here, and your questions will be answered.

I write a lot of what are considered performance-oriented pieces. Sometimes I feel my poems are just artfully arranged slices of my life, thought out a little abstractly. However, this thing is just completely silly, which is why I like it so much. I think I am also posting it for George's benefit, since he was the creator of a t-shirt that informed the masses that diabetes "sUx0rZ".

(WARNING TO POETRY PURISTS...if you're expecting "Leaves of Grass" or something like it, you might want to go elsewhere.)

Super-1337 Internet Love Poem



I think U R hawt


Colon, right-facing parenthese. : )

Colon, left-facing parenthese, : (

U R makin’ me sad

U say U won’t go out w/me.

That’s what I get checkin’ name and face

Instead of “martial status”

All up on MySpace.



U R so sweet

Be my less-than-three! <3

I saw your profile on SuicideGirls

(That’s SG)

Baby, you had me at:

“Hi, my name is Drone.

I’m 5’3” and my interests include

Tats, piercings, black hair dye, black eyeliner,

The music of The Smiths, The Cure and Joy Division,

And my exposed ribcage.

My astrological sign? Hmmm…

Definitely Cancer.

And the weirdest place I’ve ever done it is




U roXorZ my Box0rZ

O can’t U C?

That I am t e h suck

And U R t e h rawk

And I am t e h crap

And U R t e h 1337

And I am just the dial-up to your cable modem

And I am the spelling of the word “the” as t-e-h

And U R the complete and utter bastardization of

Proper English and grammar

Via the internet.






U R t e h hawtness!

Plz IM me.


Hope you had fun reading it. I certainly enjoy performing it. Meanwhile, it's lunchtime here in Blue Bell. Think I'll go heat up some soup. Maybe more poems to follow this week.


  1. OMFG ROFLMAO !!!!!!!!111

    So leet. Seriously.

    I must share that with my gaming friends. They will think you are 1337 s4Uc3!!!!!11

  2. OMG! LOL. Hah! Yay! Thank you for posting! I can imagine you performing that in a kind of mix between Jack Black and Saul Williams (my loves!) Have you ever seen Saul Williams perform? He is AMAZING!!! You'd love it.

    more, more, more!! encore!


Remember to use your commenting powers for good, not evil. Excelsior!