Monday, November 22, 2010

Things To Be Unthankful For

It's Thanksgiving week, it's true.  It's a time I like to think about all the good things in my life.  All the people, opportunities and things which I'm thankful for.  But you know what?  I feel like this year, in order to be truly thankful, I need to get those things off my chest for which I am not at all thankful.  So let's call this a Thanksgiving Week Thanks-But-No-Thanks list.

1.) Depression.  I have been taking Wellbutrin for over a month now, and while I feel like it's really helping me to feel less hopeless and apathetic, there are still so many things needing my attention.  I'm not really giving it my all yet.  I might be getting closer, but then some days I just break down crying over something stupid.  Spilled milk.  A sideways glance.  The fact that my pants don't fit.

2.)  Swollen Ankles.  The cause of them?  I still don't know.  My really cool GP is actually concerned about them, compared to the rest of the world who seems to just shrug it off.  She wants me to go have a stress test because of the swelling and the tachycardia I get sometimes.  I just get annoyed because it's difficult to buy shoes.  It's tough to have lower self-confidence when it comes to my legs.  For years, I've always thought them to be one of my better physical features.

3.) Bad Infusion Sites.  Blockage detected.  Beep beep beep.  This set is brand new, so what the hell?  Put in a new set in a different spot, and it's almost guaranteed to be one of the most painful sites you've chosen in weeks, just to continue spiting you for pulling a bad set.

4.) Diabetes and Illness in General.  I hate the fact that sometimes blogging feels like I am taking too much time to catalog my maladies.  I worry that you, my readers, aren't getting to know the real me, but the sick me.  The one who is trying to fight diabetes but struggling so much at times.  Honestly, folks, don't look to me as a role model on how to care for yourself.  I want to be here for you.  I want to present my life with as much truth as I can muster. 

5.) Work Stress.  The busier things get, the less time I have to focus on my writing, which is always important to me.  I get home exhausted, and much like tonight, I will veg in front of the TV for four hours instead of maybe trying to write or blog during at least half of that time.

Those are the biggies plaguing my mind this week.  I feel better already for airing my grievances.  But wait, I thought Festivus was a December celebration!  Hmm.

1 comment:

  1. I have been getting swollen ankles for the past 2 summers, and I have type 2 diabetes. My internist could not explain it,but my podiatrist suggested I stop taking the medicine I had begun (Lipitor for cholesterol)and when I stopped it went away. It's not a known side effect, but in my case I think it was part of the picture, if not all of it, since I did not have CHF.


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