Thursday, June 21, 2007

Heartache vs. Heartbreak

So, fellow d-bloggers and friends, I turn to you for a moment for any advice you might have.

It starts with good news--Matt has been offered a job! It's a great job with great pay at a company that seems really cool. I think they will not only appreciate him for his engineering knowledge, but also for his creativity and personability. I am very proud of him. Aww, we're growing up. No more grad student salary! Woo!

The bad news is that it's not here in Delaware. It's up in Pennsylvania, kind of southeast of Allentown, I believe. It's far enough that it requires us to move. The job would most likely start at the very beginning of September. We are looking at areas of suburban Philadelphia for our next home, this way Matt is not TOO far from his job, and I could most likely get a good job in the city (working for the man every night and day, haha).

I say "TOO far" because Matt is willing to commute like 45 minutes each way. I can't handle a drive like that. No thanks. Also, our roomie Nigel might be coming along, and he's willing to commute back to Delaware to work, at least for a while.

I am not willing to commute to Delaware from outside of Philadelphia. Which brings me to my dilemma. I have a job right now that I really enjoy. Sure, there are parts of it that can be a little bumpy, but I am appreciated for everything I do, and I get to be creative in my work. I am starting to feel accepted by the family atmosphere that pervades our little company.

I'm going to have to quit.

Sure, this is just a part of life. Jobs come and go, some are terrific and some are just awful, and I hear all this job-hopping is just a part of being in your early 20's, but honestly, this just sucks. After a couple of years of jobs I didn't like too well, I'm happy somewhere, and I don't even get to stay here a year.

Anybody been in a similar situation? I am finding I feel a little more malaise about some things because I know I won't be here come September. Heck, even the end of August. When do I tell them that I'm going to be leaving? I'm going to Austin from August 6-10, do I tell them when I get back? Before I go? How do I bow out gracefully? Or without crying? I need to be able to stay here for the rest of the summer...I can't just run off right away.

I've never had to quit a job I liked before. Gah! Help!

(Another plus to moving to the Philly area...I'm a lot closer to Gary Scheiner's diabetes consulting practice. That's something I could definitely take advantage of.)


  1. What about having a weekend relationship where you trade off locations every weekend. You go up by him one weekend, he comes down by you the next.

    Jeff and I were together for 12 yrs only seeing each other on weekends (because of how our work schedules were). The past 4 yrs we've seen each other everyday because I stay home with the kiddies and he doesn't have to travel on business anymore.

    That's my 2 cents.

    However you work it out, all will be OK :)

  2. Check out a book called "The Dip: Knowing when to stick and when to quit" or something along those lines. I think it may be useful, and you may be able to process it while sipping a latter at a local Barnes & Noble (it's very short). ;)

    At the end of the day, if you come to think of it, this is a very good problem to have! :D

  3. Shannon--Wow, you have more willpower than I do. And actually WAY more than my hubby does. I don't think that kind of situation would work for us. I know he'd give up on the better job and take something closer to home if it was the only thing that would make me happy. But I want him to be happy too. I think this explanation made sense...but I'm glad someone can make that work out there! :)

    Manny--Thanks for the recommendation. I might have to check that out. (Perhaps literally check it out, from the library. Hee.)

  4. I wouldn't give my notice before vacation. Do it when you get back. It sucks leaving a job that you like - I had to do that last year for much the same reason - and I don't know if you'll be able to do it without a tear or two, but that's ok. I'd just make sure to tell your boss how much you regret having to leave, how much you've loved working there, etc., etc..


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