D-Blog Week, Day 1: Share & Don't Share

It's D-Blog Week...join your favorite diabetes bloggers as we write about/share/mouth off about different diabetes-related topics all week.  Links and learn more at: Bitter-sweet Diabetes!

Monday:  Often our health care team only sees us for about 15 minutes several times a year, and they might not have a sense of what our lives are really like. Today, let’s pretend our medical team is reading our blogs. What do you wish they could see about your and/or your loved one's daily life with diabetes? On the other hand, what do you hope they don't see?

1.)  Today, I left my insulin pump at home.  I commuted all 40 minutes to work and then realized it was still on the bed.  My normal routine was interrupted this morning by a cable/internet installation.  I didn't give myself my usual pre-commute patdown to make sure my pump is on my person somewhere, be it in a pocket or under a bra strap.  You may think I wouldn't want the healthcare team to know about my snafu, but honestly, I trust mine enough that they were the first people I called.  "I have Novolog and syringes.  What's my game plan for the day until I can get home to my pump?"  We looked up basal rates and bolus amounts.  We discussed extra testing and doing corrections.  It hasn't been the most pleasant day, but it's been okay.  I'm thirsty.  I'm tired.  I'm getting by.  I think I'd really want the healthcare team to know that information in the clutch is appreciated and vital to what could otherwise have become a diabetes emergency.  Daily life with diabetes can bring very unexpected things.  Your prompt assistance is welcomed!

2.)  I wish a lot of healthcare providers could see that many people are shy to talk about what's concerning them the most, even when they say you can tell them anything.  In my experience, doctors don't necessarily talk diabetes and vices (sex, drugs, alcohol, rock 'n' roll) unless you really bring it up.  Teenagers and college students wishing to experiment with such things, and wishing to experiment safely, don't really have an outlet for this kind of info if they can't trust their doctor/nurse practitioner/diabetes educator.  I'm not the only one who's wished we had more resources for learning about what some might consider less-than-appropo topics!

3.)  I hope you DON'T just see noncompliant patients who won't do what they're told but walk around like everything is okay.  I hope you DO see real people with real stressful lives sometimes, people who sometimes need patience, encouragement, and a game plan that fits their lives so they can manage their health accordingly.

4.)  Stop making judgments on the health of people with diabetes before you've appropriated examined things.  I have left doctors because they've acted like I've brought a health problem on myself due to uncontrolled Type 1.  Do some tests.  Give me some scientific proof.  I married an engineer, and I'm pretty smart myself, so logically prove to me why and how some issues I have are related to my diabetes, and then we can talk about them.  Otherwise, I feel discriminated against.  You're a doctor.  I expect you to do tests, not to dismiss me based on your personal judgment.

5.)  I honestly hope my healthcare team would see most anything.  I don't think there's much of anything I'd want them to miss.  I feel like having a more personal relationship with our healthcare providers makes us a stronger team together.  If it weren't for the great family doctor I saw in Phoenixville, I may not have such an awesome endocrinologist!  I may never have gone to a psychiatrist and eventually a therapist to talk about depression/anxiety.  I think we should all be able to trust our healthcare teams!  Now, whether or not you'd want to tell them your favorite song to sing in the shower or your biggest celebrity crushes is entirely up to you. 

Stay tuned for more D-Blog Week dorkiness right here!

Eye Can't Fight This Feeling Anymore

If you want to know the annual doctor's appointment that gnaws at my nerves the most, it's not the gynecologist.  It's the eye doctor. 

Coming in second or third to the stories most people will tell you about their family member who didn't take care of their diabetes and lost a foot are the stories of somebody's uncle/aunt/brother-in-law (etc) who went blind. 

I never feel like I know what my eyes are doing there.  Are they just sitting in my skull, happily doing their jobs?  Is there more to it than that?  Retinopathy, sounds like the most insidious of all diabetes complications.  It just lurks in the backs of your eyeballs until your eye doctor discovers it.  Sometimes I have a bad blood sugar day where my eyes refuse to focus properly.  Near the end of a bout with what may have been the norovirus earlier this year (still not sure what illness it was exactly) paired with an infection, I became super photosensitive very suddenly.  Light literally hurt my eyes when I got out of bed in the morning.  I was terrified.  What would the eye doctor find in three weeks?

Luckily, the photosensitivity faded with my illness and the completion of my antibiotics.  It could have been a symptom or a side effect, not sure which. 

Two days ago, I was at my annual eye checkup.  I had a new doctor, who was a nice guy in his mid-40s.  He checked my vision, and while I need to change my prescription slightly, he encouraged me that I was looking great.  Even with my ridiculous nearsightedness that I've had since kindergarten, I can still be corrected to 20/20 vision.  There are new glasses in my future.  I'm excited and also sad to see these glasses go.  After that quick exam, I was given drops.

He said my pressure looked great, which is reassuring given the history of glaucoma in my family, but then I had to wait for my eyes to dilate.  That's the moment I tend to get a lump in my throat.  I paused in my mind to reason with my retinas.  Okay, guys, you're feeling okay, yes?  Maybe?  Please? 

Sitting in the chair for the moment of truth, I asked, "So be honest, tell me how they look?  I've been diabetic for 22 years now.  I've been told that you can tell I'm diabetic by looking at them but there's nothing to worry about."

"They look great!" he exclaimed.  He paused to look at my chart on the computer.  "Actually, they look better than last year.  I can see one micro-spot in your right eye, but it's practically nothing.  And like I said, it's even better than before."

Sometimes I feel like I will forever be dodging bullets, despite my best efforts.  It's always comforting to know I can fight another day.  My eyes are 99.9% perfect.  After 22 years with type 1, I feel happy just knowing that.  I feel lucky.  And of course, I always feel like I could do better. 

So for now I hope that eye squirrel stays friendly.  Or that he's maybe more of a transient eye chipmunk, or a degu.

Like a...Boss?

Do you ever get that proud yet somewhat reluctant feeling when you make a bunch of necessary doctor's appointments that you've been putting off?

That's what today is like for me. 

If I can top today off with printing up a log of numbers for my endocrinologist appointment tomorrow, I think I am officially a boss. 

Healthwise, though, I am long overdue for some of these things, and others I probably just need in general.  I spent this weekend sick, and it was a bit scary at times, but that is a post I shall make for tomorrow.