Monday, December 30, 2013

Goodbye, 2013.

Out with the old; in with the new.  Sounds like a good plan to me.

In 2013, I didn't blog as much as I wanted.  I renewed my URL, but never quite got it applied because of the hassle I was going through and a lack of time.  I allowed aspects of my struggling work life to interfere with the life I enjoy, but at the same time, I made a lot of changes for the better.  What happened that was notable?

I was a reader on Live from the Kelly Writers' House on WXPN fm.

I had a couple of poetry features in different places.

I was published in APIARY Magazine, then later ended up joining their staff as Coordinator of Outreach and PR.  I met a lot of really great people by doing this, and my life is better for it.

I celebrated my 31st trip around the sun, and my 23rd year with Type 1.

I moved into the City of Philadelphia proper.  I am still learning the ways to make it my home, but it's coming along nicely.  I like it here.

Despite the anxiety and stress I've been under on the job, I still get up, I still come in, I still do my work.  2014 is the year the daily grind is going to stop grinding me down.  I will find something new.  The "daily grind" will be more like some fresh-ground espresso--exciting, energizing...good-smelling?

I made plans to get myself in gear after a really awful A1C.

I got a new insulin pump!  (Tandem T-Slim)

I decided on a potential name for my Dexcom G4: Jadzia.  If you ever watched Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, you will hopefully find this as amusing as I do.

Here in December, I began experimenting on Victoza.  I took a little break for the holidays, but I plan on being back on it by Thursday.  I am definitely going to share some experiences with you all.

I didn't write enough blog posts.

I got to be a guest on DSMA Live!

I dressed an insulin vial up for Halloween.

I wrote some new poems, but I definitely didn't write enough of those either.

I wrote one short-short story, and that felt pretty good.  I think I need to do more of that.

I changed my hair color a couple of times.

I discovered how much I love brightly colored and bold lipsticks.

I let my inner girly-girl win out and got subscriptions to Ipsy, Birchbox, and Julep.  (If anybody else out there would be interested, I think I have referral links you can use that benefit both of us in the end.)

I met Scott J!  And Cherise!  And Sara K!  And Mike Lawson!  And Hannah and Aaron and Jerry the Bear!  And Chris Snider!  And Colleen!  And I saw Allison and Kerri and Manny and others!  What a kickass year for DOC hugging!!  It deserves more exclamation points than I can comfortably continue to fit in this little line break.

Most of all, I am happy I made it through another year in relative good health and high spirits.  May we all learn something from 2013, may we all reflect fondly on the good things.  Happy New Year, Dorkabetic readers!  See you in 2014!

Monday, December 9, 2013

Nothing More Than Feelings.

I don't feel amazing.  The A1C I received recently can be accurately described as "total crap".  My body aches, my ankles swell.  My mouth has suffered the dryness of approximately one jillion cotton balls.

Winter, aka The Time I Am Most Likely to Be Down on Myself for the Silliest Things, is upon us.  I am less than thrilled.  Completely non-plussed.  Sometimes utterly discouraged.  I've beaten myself up psychologically before.  I've tried to pretend things that bother me might go away if I look in the other direction.

I get more anxious about my future than I do my blood sugar levels, and I suppose in a way, that's good.  I still feel like a mostly-normal human being, albeit sometimes a flawed and out-of-shape one.

But I'm still holding on.  I keep reminding myself to revisit all the good and great things that have happened lately, and luckily, there are a lot of those.

I just need to remember to learn.  To move on.  To not ignore the things that frighten me because honey, they ain't goin' anywhere.  I need to remember to wear my Dexcom all the time [dammit].  To realize that the numbers are very important, but they don't define who I am.

Can we all just take a minute to get all existential/philosophical and appreciate how beautiful and terrifying life can be, and that sometimes just still being here is a major achievement?  Can we all just give each other a hug?