Sunday, November 9, 2008

Love in the Time of Insulin Dependence

Happy D-Blog Day 2008, everyone! I want to take this opportunity to:

1. Say hello to all my readers and lurkers!! (Yes, I am waving at the screen, because as the title will tell you, I'm a dork.)

2. Thank the DiabetesOC for making this happen again this year.

3. Talk about a subject that has been on my mind for the past several days, and that I think plays a very important part in the lives of everyone with diabetes: LOVE.

A little over a week ago, Matt and I celebrated our anniversary. Not the wedding anniversary, but our actual meeting and dating anniversary. We were both 16, and we met at our friend's Halloween party. My husband and I have been pretty much inseparable for a decade. 10 years. Where has all the time gone? I can't believe how fortunate I am, how blessed, to have married my best friend. He has seen me through food rebellions, my first insulin pump, my grouchiest high blood sugars. He's often the one asking if I've checked my BG before I go to sleep--sometimes I'm just too tired to remember.

This is D-Blog Day, and I feel that I have the right to get up on my big ol' soap box to tell the parents of kids with diabetes and singles with diabetes that there is someone out there for you. Diabetes shouldn't have to keep you from being able to truly love someone with all your heart, and it definitely shouldn't keep you from being loved back. A while ago, when I first found the DiabetesOC, I was frequently bopping around the message boards over at the ADA site. There were multiple postings from frightened parents worrying that one day their children would never find someone and be happy, just because diabetes made them "different". There were horror stories and tales of woe from singles with diabetes who just couldn't date anymore because so many people were complete assholes when finding out about their companion's condition.

But Hannah, you may say, I am single and lonely and I scared someone off with my shot at the restaurant. But Hannah, you may say, it will be so much different for my child when they grow up and start dating.

But readers, I will tell you, love at its most basic doesn't change. And look at all the happiness out there amongst my blogging friends. People who found awesome partners. People like George, Kerri, Scott J, Gina, Amy, Scott S. (Also, these are mostly people who really inspired me to blog early on!)

And readers, I will tell you, not everyone you date is a soulmate, but that doesn't necessarily have to do with The Big D. Maybe some dude will bug out on you for taking insulin or pills, but who knows? Maybe that dude would also take issue with the number of times a day you brush your teeth. Maybe some girl is freaked out because you had a low blood sugar right before dinner, but some other girl could run screaming because she found a Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue under your bed.

If you can't find someone to love you, diabetes and all, settling shouldn't be the way to deal with it. Nor should becoming a hermit.

There is no cure for diabetes...yet.

And there is no good cure for a broken heart, I realize that.

I'm just saying that in my eyes, true love is someone who will walk downstairs to get you a glass of OJ at 3am when you're low. It's someone who will try and tell you how many grams of carbs he estimates are in that surprise casserole he invented on the fly for dinner.

I don't think diabetes and worries about having a love life should go hand-in-hand, ever. Diabetes is worrisome enough as it is, and you haven't even picked out something to wear!

12 comments:

  1. Yeah, G's farts have always been a bigger problem than the D. ;)

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  2. Happy D-Blog Day. Thanks so much for sharing your life with me and everyone. I wish you all the happiness and health.

    I wish you long life and health.

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  3. I feel lucky when I read blogs about people who are afraid of sharing their diabetes with a partner or who lose out on relationships as a result. I have never, ever had a negative reaction from a potential friend or boyfriend (except a crazy old man at a coffee shop who told me I must have done something really bad in a prior life - but he was seriously cuckoo).

    So yes, if anyone out there is reading this and worried ... diabetes is no reason to keep you from having happy and healthy (and "normal") relationships.

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  4. 'Tis true. My DH admitted he was freaked out by me doing my shot at the table on our third date (!)...but it made him go research type 1 and learn how to handle it. I wish I could spare him the ups and downs and the worry, but I never doubt that he will always be there to do the right thing for me. My goal is to live a long and healthy life so I can do the same for him :)

    Congratulations and happy D-Blogger Day!

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  5. Hannah-
    You are wise and Sage-like....and a totally Dork-a-riffic!

    Happy D-Day gurrlfriend!
    YOU ROCK
    k2

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  6. At least it's not cholera!

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  7. Great post Hannah, and so true.

    So glad to have you as part of the DOC family - it wouldn't be the same without you.

    My word verification is "sticsing" - sounds like a diabetes song (or poem!) waiting to happen...

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  8. Happy D-Blog Day, Hannah!

    Here's my take:
    http://www.diabetesmine.com/2008/11/d-blog-day-2008-a-whole-new-world.html

    Unfortunately comments are still down, but you can email me maybe :)

    Best,
    AmyT

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  9. this is a great post. i used to worry about this, "what if he gets freaked out by my diabetes?" it did turn out the answer to that is that the ones who get freaked out...they aren't The One anyway, so why waste my time being worried about it?

    i know your post will be encouraging to those poor unfortunate teenagers out there in the dating world.

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  10. Thank you for your post--and happy belated D-Blog Day. I was in a relationship when I was diagnosed, and he married me three years later. We learned about diabetes together. If it's right, a syringe won't scare anybody off!

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  11. :)
    love your blog, and this entry.

    i met my husband due to my diabetes -

    back in college he was trying to inconspicuosly flirt with me by stealing my "pager" - aka my pump.

    makes for a funny story now!

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  12. survive...optimism....and hhope have happy days

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