So, yesterday, I asked for you guys to ask me anything you wanted to know about my experiences with the DexCom Seven CGMS. I'm gonna leave that open. Leave some more comments over the weekend, and I will post about it on Monday. In the meantime, today, we're going to laugh!
This post begins with a combination of thanks and apologies to Heidi (no, not THAT Heidi) at The D-Log Cabin!
So, around this house, reality television-watching is not really a group activity, especially when it comes to competition-based shows. I tend to sneak in my reality show and makeover show viewing during the day. A good friend of mine bought me the entire first season of "Rollergirls" on DVD for Christmas, and I have only yet watched one episode! (It was good, though. Don't let that "from the producers of Laguna Beach!" crap on the front of the box sway you. Roller derby girls in Austin are WAAAYYY different than stuck-up rich teens/twentysomethings in SoCal.)
There are quite a few reality-based shows that Matt, Nigel and I can stand to watch together, and many of them revolve around food, science, cars or ridiculous foreign game shows. We regularly take in episodes of "Mythbusters" on the Discovery Channel, "Ninja Warrior" and "Unbeatable Banzuke" on G4, the comical-yet-similar "Most Extreme Elimination Challenge" on Spike, and our lastest obsessions, "No Reservations" and "Bizarre Foods" on the Travel Channel.
But, alas, I am the only one with any waning interest in American idols, survivors, dancing stars/crews/amateurs, bachelors, big losers or geeks.
Which is why I was so surprised when I discovered that my husband ACTUALLY LIKED watching "Project Runway" with me. If there is one reality show which I may be obsessed with, it is this one. I feel that I maybe, just maybe, have unconditional love for Tim Gunn. As often as Kerri has her imaginary chats with Larry Bird, I may have to start having imaginary chats with Tim. More on this when...um...he and I have a chat in my mind. However, since he is the amazing and sage Tim Gunn, I'm sure he will simply tell me to "make it work" if I start making excuses or do something weird.
So Heidi at the D-Log Cabin wrote a post a few weeks ago about how a great challenge for the designers on Project Runway would be for them to create an outfit for the wearer of an insulin pump. Her post had several photos of examples of how she wears her pump, including in her striped, fuzzy socks, clipped to her "goth outfit", and of course, in full-on EMT utility style. So I thought...what if this were a real challenge? What would happen if the Project Runway judges were judging how pumps can be hidden and the many devices used to hide them? Picture the following imaginary judging session, wherein I'm the guest judge. This is MY fantasy, after all.
(on Heidi's hiding places)
Heidi Klum: Sooo, what do we think?
Michael Kors: UGH! Black, black, black. That last outfit was SUCH a blasé disaster!!
Nina Garcia: Aaahnd pleeeaase, striped socks are so '03. Show me something fresh.
Hannah, as guest judge: I dunno, that holster belt could be kind cool, like, in a Batman sort of a way....
(on the illustrious "Thigh Thing")
Hannah: You know, it could be possible that this could be kinda sexy in a Barbarella/Bond Girl sort of way. But the truth is half the time the damn thing slides down your leg when you walk, and you have to fumble around under your skirt or just straight-out excuse yourself from the table to go bolus.
Michael Kors: It could look very avant-garde if worn properly, but I don't think it's working here.
Nina Garcia: Michael, I know what you're thinking, and nobody wants to wear five of those on their leg at a time. I've seen it in Paris, and no regular person would want to do it. This is just awful.
Heidi Klum: It looks like something that should be left in the bedroom. Let's move on.
(on this lacy pump garter, found on DiabetesNet.com's shop)
Hannah: My leg itches just looking at it.
Nina Garcia: HIDEOUS! I cannot think of a single person who'd want to wear this.
Michael Kors: Drag queens. Drag queens would wear this.
Nina Garcia: I disagree with you. Drag queens have much better taste.
Michael Kors: It's just so provincial-looking, and not in a charming way at all. Ugh, next please!
Heidi Klum: Have we found a single design we like yet?
Hannah: Not really.
Nina Garcia: Let's send ALL the designers home!
Heidi Klum: Um, I don't think we can do that, Nina. The producers would be mad.
Nina Garcia: *heavy, haughty sigh*
(last but not least, something described as the "Tag-a-Long" by DiabetesNet.com's shop)
Michael Kors: What's on this thing, kittens?
Heidi Klum: Actually, I think they're ladybugs.
Hannah: But they make one with kittens on it!
Michael Kors: *hides face with notecards* No. No no no.
Nina Garcia: Don't diabetics ever want something that looks, you know, expensive? Everything I've seen today looks like it's come out of the cheapest stall at the flea market. And why would someone punish themselves with such ugly things?
Hannah: They don't give us any choice. It sucks. You people in the fashion world think women don't want pockets in their pants or their skirts--I've heard Michael say it on the show! A pocket goes a long-ass way, let me tell you. As for this thing, I'd be scared to carry it because it means the only thing separating my $5000 piece of medical equipment from the ground is a flimsy plastic hook on my jeans. I go to concerts. Somebody could mosh that thing right off my hip.
Heidi Klum: But it looks like this might be meant for children.
Hannah: What kind of child is going to play carefully enough that this thing wouldn't drop off their belt after two games of tag? And let's not even think about four-square related incidents or jumping off the swingset. Plus, it comes in two colors of fake leather. Leather doesn't scream "children's product" to me.
Michael Kors: So, are we going to kick all the designers off the show, or what? I'm all for it. That granola hippie girl pisses me off.
Nina Garcia: And I can't take one more effeminate man who thinks he can design because he's effeminate.
Heidi Klum: Whoa everyone! Let's keep it to ourselves, we have a guest judge here who has to USE these accessories on a regular basis.
Hannah: Tell you what, guys, let's pair the designers with ACTUAL insulin pump users. Let's work with real people's needs. I know you guys love a good "real people" challenge once in a while where your designers leave their models at the agency. No one gets kicked off. Everybody wins--unless they get a hideous outfit, but I guess that's part of the challenge. Whaddya say?
Well, what do you say, readers? Heidi at the The D-Log Cabin suggested we email Bravo to use this as a suggestion for the next season of Project Runway. I'm sure they could use a lot of us bloggers as models! It's so crazy, it just might work. Do it for all the crappy pump accessories you've been forced to wear or create over the years. As for me, it's time to say Auf Wiedersehn! *kiss kiss* Have a great weekend.