Thursday, June 21, 2007

Heartache vs. Heartbreak

So, fellow d-bloggers and friends, I turn to you for a moment for any advice you might have.

It starts with good news--Matt has been offered a job! It's a great job with great pay at a company that seems really cool. I think they will not only appreciate him for his engineering knowledge, but also for his creativity and personability. I am very proud of him. Aww, we're growing up. No more grad student salary! Woo!

The bad news is that it's not here in Delaware. It's up in Pennsylvania, kind of southeast of Allentown, I believe. It's far enough that it requires us to move. The job would most likely start at the very beginning of September. We are looking at areas of suburban Philadelphia for our next home, this way Matt is not TOO far from his job, and I could most likely get a good job in the city (working for the man every night and day, haha).

I say "TOO far" because Matt is willing to commute like 45 minutes each way. I can't handle a drive like that. No thanks. Also, our roomie Nigel might be coming along, and he's willing to commute back to Delaware to work, at least for a while.

I am not willing to commute to Delaware from outside of Philadelphia. Which brings me to my dilemma. I have a job right now that I really enjoy. Sure, there are parts of it that can be a little bumpy, but I am appreciated for everything I do, and I get to be creative in my work. I am starting to feel accepted by the family atmosphere that pervades our little company.

I'm going to have to quit.

Sure, this is just a part of life. Jobs come and go, some are terrific and some are just awful, and I hear all this job-hopping is just a part of being in your early 20's, but honestly, this just sucks. After a couple of years of jobs I didn't like too well, I'm happy somewhere, and I don't even get to stay here a year.

Anybody been in a similar situation? I am finding I feel a little more malaise about some things because I know I won't be here come September. Heck, even the end of August. When do I tell them that I'm going to be leaving? I'm going to Austin from August 6-10, do I tell them when I get back? Before I go? How do I bow out gracefully? Or without crying? I need to be able to stay here for the rest of the summer...I can't just run off right away.

I've never had to quit a job I liked before. Gah! Help!

(Another plus to moving to the Philly area...I'm a lot closer to Gary Scheiner's diabetes consulting practice. That's something I could definitely take advantage of.)

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Another way to get to know the blogger...

is to join up at Tu Diabetes and be her friend.

I just joined, so you should too. :)

Me me meeeee!

How do you learn more about the blog author? With a meme, of course.

1. Hannah
2. Hannie
3. Wonder Twin

1. My eyes.
2. My smile.
3. My boobs. (They might make it hard to buy button-down shirts, but oh, the things I can hide in there...)


1. My constantly swollen ankles.
2. My skin (though this is improving, thanks to the friendly dermatologist)
3. My non-functional pancreas

1. A wee bit Italian (my great-grandfather was 100% Italian!)
2. German
3. English

1. Sudden loud noises.
2. The end of the world.
3. Diabetes Complications.

1. Insulin pump
2. Diet Coke
3. Ponytail holder

1. New shoes!
2. Black capris/pink striped shirt
3. Wonder Twin ring

1. Chicago
2. My Fair Lady
3. Avenue Q (so what if I have yet to see it in person?)

1. Rehab - Amy Winehouse
2. The Mariner's Revenge Song - The Decemberists
3. Sister Rosetta - Noisettes

1. Communication
2. Laughter
3. Honesty

1. eyes
2. smile/smirk
3. butts! (mostly i just wanted to say butts...but they're nice)

1. listening to music
2. reading
3. writing/performing

1. take a nap
2. go swimming
3. eat lunch!

1. Editor
2. Copywriter
3. Superstar!

1. California
2. Venice, Italy
3. Scotland

1. Seth.
2. Grace.
3. Ryan.

1. Have (or adopt) a kid
2. Get published (self-published doesn't count)
3. Live, love, write, dream, learn, travel and much as possible for as long as possible.

1. I really enjoy all kinds of pink things.
2. I love makeup, even though I don't wear it that often...
3. I have A LOT of shoes.

1. Public bathrooms don't always gross me out (only the really bad ones).
2. I love boy media...Adult Swim, Most Extreme Elimination Challenge, rock music, video games (Dead or Alive, anyone?), cartoons in general, action movies, Japanese horror movies, road rallies on the Speed channel, Pimp My Ride, the Discovery Channel....
3. Excessive use of the words "dude" and "rad" and all kinds of cusses.

1. Conor Oberst
2. Clive Owen
3. Cillian Murphy
(I notice a let's not forget Colin Meloy......)

(Quaker Meeting the meme yourself if the spirit moves you!)

Friday, June 15, 2007

On Anticipating Michael Moore's "Sicko"

I have not even watched the video that accompanies this YouTube clip of Michael Moore discussing his new film, but the comments on it are interesting. They range from the tame to the lame to the incendiary. More than one person seems to mention that the only action required to get adequate health coverage in this country is to get a job, as if our inherent laziness in this great country of ours is the only thing stopping us from getting insurance. As a bunch of "Sickos" ourselves, we know this isn't true.

How many times have we, as diabetics and parents of diabetics, heard that dreaded label "pre-existing condition" slapped onto our medical claims? It rolls off the tongue sounding dirty, shameful. Just give us a scarlet "D" to pin to our clothes every day. It's bad enough that we have a chronic condition that will last us the rest of our lives. The American healthcare industry just adds insult to injury every time it tells us that because we are sick and badly need coverage, we can't have it, or we can't have enough, or we can only have it under THEIR terms.

I know people who bristle at the mention of "universal healthcare" because they equate it with waiting in some kind of USSR-ish Communist breadline to see a doctor or have surgery. But don't we have to wait for appointments now? Don't we have to wait to schedule surgeries that don't require immediate attention as it is?

Something needs to be done. People in other countries know our healthcare system is the pits. According to this really great article from the Guardian UK, the US comes in 37th when it comes to healthcare. Number one was France. You hear that, Frenchie-hating politicos who are still eating your Freedom Fries? When you have a heart attack from eating so many of those things, you'd get better care in your least favorite country in the world!

Whether you love or hate Michael Moore, you have to agree that the release of this movie will get this country and maybe even the whole world talking. Everyone is already buzzing about healthcare as a hot-button topic in the upcoming election, and this might just be the thing to cement it in the minds of Americans.

So, you silly, misinformed YouTubers, it takes a lot more than a job to get the health coverage you need. Check this out:

-Upwards of 17 million of us are underinsured. So after you pay $700 out of your monthly paycheck to have health coverage at all, then you find out you have to pay for some necessary procedure entirely out of your own pocket. Brilliant. I once worked a temp job for nearly a year and a half, but I never accepted the agency's health plan. It was practically useless unless you were a completely healthy person who might need to get a prescription twice a year. It would only cover $30 a month in prescription drugs! Insulin costs twice that, and let's not even start with the price of glucose test strips. So, stupid YouTuber, many of us bust our asses only to end up sick and tired of being sick and tired.

-The population of New York City is over 8 million people. That's a lot of people. Know how many people in this country don't have health insurance? 47 million. Nearly 6 times the number of folks who live in NYC! Sure, the population of this country is over 300 million, but shouldn't EVERYONE be able to afford their own healthcare at any time?

-Why are there so many uncontrolled cases of Diabetes in the US? I'm sure the cost of healthcare, laboratory tests and prescriptions is probably one of the biggest factors. Just a guess, but when a search for "glucose test strips" on Ebay results in 149 offers, it's probably not that far from the truth.

So, Michael Moore, in short, I hope your movie does well. I hope I really like it, too. Lord knows it might just be what everyone in this country needs to see right now.

Monday, June 11, 2007

I blatantly stole this meme from Kerri

Because I'm not sure what to write about right now...

1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?
Wow, I'm more sunburned than I realized.

2. How much cash do you have on you?
Absolutely none. Wait...there is exactly 50 cents in mixed change in my desk drawer. That's enough for a can of Diet Coke from our vending machine! Woo!

3. What's a word that rhymes with DOOR?

4. Favorite planet?
The overall strangeness of Jupiter makes it my favorite.

5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone?
Work, because I called myself, trying to find my phone in the bottomless pit of my purse.

6. What is your favorite ring tone on your phone?
I think "Big Brat" by Phantom Planet, because it usually applies to most friends who call me..."yeah you're always up to no gooood!"

7. What shirt are you wearing?
An appropriate-for-work scoop-neck black tank top that I've had forever.

8. Do you label yourself?
I'm sure I do: wife, poet, writer, officemonkey...

9. Name the brand of the shoes you're currently wearing:
Steve Madden

10. Bright or Dark Room?
Um, dark room? Picture-developing is fun, even if it smells bad.

11. Why is there always a missing question?
Because it's easy to accidentally delete stuff.

12. What does your watch look like?
It's got a thin red strap with a silver casing and a white & silver dial.

13. What were you doing at midnight last night?
Sitting in the living room, drinking some fruit punch and talking with the slam team.

14. What did your last text message you received on your cell phone say?
"I love you! Oh, have you checked out yet?"

15. Where is your nearest 7-11?
Probably like 3 miles away from my apartment just next to route 273.

16. What's a word that you say a lot?
"Rad." "Apparently." "Fuck."

17. Who told you he/she loved you last?
My hubby Matt, who also sent me the aforementioned text.

18. Last furry thing you touched?
Sadako. Our conversation?
Sadako: Meep!
Me: Oh, you're such a good kitty, except for when you're stinking up my clean laundry. Sadako: Mew!
Me: I know, kitty, you can't help it that you have a smelly cat butt. But quit rubbing it on every skirt I want to wear in the clothes basket!
Sadako: Meep.

19. How many drugs have you done in the last three days?
I've popped pills (Altace, Atenolol, Wellbutrin, birth control, metformin) and shot up (insulin).

20. How many rolls of film do you need developed?
I'm sure there's at least 3.

21. Favorite age you have been so far?
The current one isn't so bad. I can't think of a favorite, though. Every year packs in something great and something crappy.

22. Your worst enemy?
Myself. And maybe the health insurance industry. And maybe sometimes, diabetes.

23. What is your current desktop picture?
A shot from the webcomic Questionable Content

24. What was the last thing you said to someone?
"It automatically inflates and deflates."

25. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to fly, what would it be?
A million bucks. It could do so much more. I can use money to help people. Flying would only really help me, and I'm not too fond of heights.

26. Do you like someone?

27. The last song you listened to?
I heard "Before He Cheats" by Carrie Underwood on the radio this morning.

28. What time of day were you born?

29. What's your favorite number?

30. Where did you live in 1987?
In Williamsport, PA with my parents. I was 5.

31. Are you jealous of anyone?
I'm jealous of people with functional pancreases, but I don't have any REAL jealousy towards anyone. That doesn't do any good.

32. Is anyone jealous of you?
Probably. I'm 25, married, I have a job I enjoy, I get to go to the National Poetry Slam...I'm sure I've got plenty to envy. But like I said, jealousy doesn't do any good, so people should get over it.

33. Where were you when 9/11 happened?
I heard the first news on my way to my 9am graphic communications class. When I got to the communications building, every available TV was on, and people were crowded around all of them. We didn't have class, but we sat and watched the ongoing coverage. My professor said that he couldn't imagine us doing anything else, because this was definitely something important. We watched the second plane hit. We watched the towers fall. We didn't make a sound.

34. What do you do when vending machines steal your money?
Cuss. Give the machine a whack or a kick. Then either hope putting more money in will get me 2 items, get a refund, or just get out because I don't have time to worry about it.

35. Do you consider yourself kind?
Always. Snarky and sassy, but kind.

36. If you had to get a tattoo, where would it be?
Probably somewhere nobody would see it. I like tats, but I wouldn't want it to jeopardize my changes of getting a kickass job.

37. If you could be fluent in any other language, what would it be?
Japanese. I just think it's really fascinating. The same with Russian.

38. Would you move for the person you loved?
Yes. And this might not be a distant reality...

39. Are you touchy-feely?

40. What's your life motto?
I don't have one.

41. Name three things you have on you at all times:
insulin pump, glasses, wedding ring

42. What's your favorite town/city?
I've been to a lot of places that I like...Philadelphia, New York, Austin, Baltimore. I generally like the big cities, but I like small towns based on the people who live there. Good ol' Newark, DE isn't so bad either.

43. What was the last thing you paid for with cash?
Food tickets yesterday at the Taste of Wilmington festival.

44. When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper and mailed it?
A couple weeks ago I sent a letter to my life insurance guy.

45. Can you change the oil on a car?
No, but I can TAKE the car to GET the oil changed. Haha.

46. Your first love: what is the last thing you heard about him/her?
I think he was supposed to go to school in Philadelphia or something. This was years ago.

47. How far back do you know your ancestry?
On one side, pretty far, back to Olaf the Stout, the Viking infamous for his double row of teeth (yes, like a shark!). The other sides, not so much.

48. The last time you dressed fancy, what did you wear and why did you dress fancy?
If you're thinking REALLY fancy, when I got married in September 2006.

49. Does anything hurt on your body right now?
My legs are achy...I did a lot of walking this weekend.

50. Have you ever been burned by love?
Who hasn't?

51. Do you have a crush on any bloggers?
I don't know, but all these diabetics seem really sweet. Ha!

52. Where would you like to live?
Either in or just outside of a city that I really love, in a nice townhouse, and eventually, a real house.

Wednesday, June 6, 2007

Happiness is a Poem from a Friend

real pancreases are
overrated. we real girls
run on machines.

I know some incredible people, that's for sure. Thanks, L, for the haiku.

Tuesday, June 5, 2007

Poetry Slams, Canadian Music and a Smelly Apartment

First of all, I feel disgusting. I have not had a thorough shower in about 4 days now. We were a bad apartment, paying our gas bill late, as in a day after they cut us off. Our roommate paid the bill in full, plus paid extra to have our gas switched back on the same day. This was Friday. Our gas was not turned on Friday. Nor Saturday. Nor even yesterday. It has been a very hot weekend, and I feel so sticky and gross it's not even funny. I have managed to wash my hair in our roommate's shower. He bought one of those massaging shower sprayers, so I just aimed it directly at my head. The water was cold, but being that it wasn't on more sensitive areas of my body, it felt good. We also can't cook. The gas runs our stove, oven and hot water heater.

Our maintenance must be lazy as hell, or perhaps not very bright. Every time I speak to someone at the office, they say we are on the re-connect list for gas. They put me in touch with maintenance. The maintenance guy almost always says we are NOT on the re-connect list, we're still on the disconnect list. There was an exception...our roommate talked to a guy on Sunday night after hours who said he would come out and see what he could do, but he was in some parking lot, waiting for AAA to come unlock his truck. He'd locked his keys inside. This guy was refreshingly honest, and we were hopeful, but he never came. I just want to get clean. I just want to make a pot of soup. And now I just want our roomie to get the $25 back that he paid for SAME-DAY RE-CONNECTION on FRIDAY. Grrrrr.

This weekend, I found a used copy of "Picaresque" by The Decemberists for $8 at our local indie record shop. This is probably the best $8 I've spent in a very long time. If you like folksy storytelling in your songs along with a hefty helping of excellent instrumentation, you must buy this album. Some people may find Colin Meloy's voice kind of irritating, but I find it endearing.

Last night, Matt and I traveled to Baltimore for their weekly poetry slam. Matt was the featured poet, so he got paid for doing a 20 minute set of poems. I found out another poet I know down there has diabetes, Type 1, and she uses an Animas insulin pump. She mentions it non-chalantly in regards to a poem that Matt performed. I have to suppress the urge to ask her 50 questions about her diabetes. Maybe she doesn't want to talk about it. We don't all like discussing what's wrong with us. She's only 18, and quite the poet and performer for someone who has just graduated high school. I know if somebody asked me to keep a diabetes blog when I was 18, I probably would have turned them down. Back then, diabetes was my own personal business. At 25, I find talking about it is the best way to find support. I hope our friend is doing well. I hope she has someone to talk to, and if she doesn't, I hope she finds someone before she's 25. If I had known about the Diabetes OC back in college, maybe I wouldn't be so screwed up now.

But this isn't some kind of self-pity party. In fact, I've got something to celebrate! Speaking of poetry slams, who is the ONLY (and therefore, cutest) girl on the 2007 Delaware National Poetry Slam Team? Why, me, of course! This means making travel arrangements, making sure I'm traveling with enough supplies, and making sure I have a letter from the doctor saying it's okay for me to have needles/small containers of liquid/electronic devices strapped to my body on the plane. Austin, Texas, here I come! (Other team members include Matt, our roomie, and two other friends...what a great summer it's going to be!)

This has been all the Hannah-News that's fit to print. Catch you later on.

PS--Have you voted in the Funniest Diabetic Poem Contest? Maybe you should! There are rhymes, parodies, haiku, and just general silliness. The winner gets an iPod Shuffle! Plenty of your favorite OC-ers have entries, so go vote!